Sunday, January 15, 2012

Chick-flicks & Football

I like my fair share of "chick-flicks" and musicals.  When I was a young girl, my mom & I would get our mugs of hot chocolate and get cozy on the couch and watch a movie (especially on those cool and rainy Baguio days).  I'm talking about: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, White Christmas, Singin' in the Rain, Pollyanna (Danny had never even heard of this one till we married!!), My Fair Lady, The King & I, An Affair to Remember, Charade, Holiday Inn, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, House Boat, etc.  Basically, if it had Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Cary Grant (random fact: that man was married 5 times... yes, 5 times! Crazy!), Deborah Kerr, Audrey Hepburn and the like, we watched them.  So, I like my girlie movies and even spent the night before my wedding watching one with my bridesmaids and so, I come by it honestly.

Now, I was also raised in a house where football was watched and especially if our beloved Dallas Cowboys were playing.  But I never really got into it and didn't understand all the rules so I didn't usually sit and watch for very long. But as I grew older I fell into the group (maybe stereotypical) where I would roll my eyes when guys would sit and watch football for hours and ignore the rest of the people around them (I realize this is not every guy out there and so don't get all huffy if you're a guy reading this and if you're a gal, don't get on your soapbox either).

So fast forward to 1999.  The year I married my best friend.  We got married in August, so that would be pre-season for you non-NFL informed. I soon realized that my new husband was planning on watching a lot of football on Sunday afternoons. We lived in a small apartment and owned one small tv. We both worked, were full-time students and were active in our church. So knowing how busy Sundays would be our homework was usually finished before then.  Now what on earth was I going to do for a few hours?!? Well, I decided early on that I wanted to truly be interested in things that Danny liked. I wanted to enjoy life together. Before I knew it I was watching the games and kinda leaning forward in my seat when the Cowboys would have the ball and maybe even have that swell of pride when a touchdown was made, so I watched and asked questions (usually at appropriate times... I learned that from my Dad & brothers).

Now here we are... 12 and a half years of marriage and many football games later... we are sitting in the living room together watching the NFL Playoffs as I write this blog.  I'm not saying this to make me sound good or make an interesting blog... but I really, truly enjoy watching football!  There have been times I'm hollering at the tv and Danny comes rushing in the room saying "What happened?!?  Wait... why am I not in here watching it instead of you?!" To make my point even clearer, I've been playing fantasy football since 2005 and if I do say so myself have had some really good seasons :)

Before you think I'm the only one showing an interest or just tootin' my own horn, I will say Danny has sat thru quite a few of my girlie movies and watched them all the way thru with me. Though you won't ever hear him admitting to liking any of them... there are a few I'd dare say he didn't hate.  He takes the time to do things I like... watch chick-flicks, takes me shopping, lets me discuss a book I read (that isn't probably on his list of books to read) and helps me with my love of photography to name just a few.  He makes an effort and I have taken notice.

I guess I share this with you because it's important that your spouse, who should be your best friend as well, know that you truly care about what they care about.  It obviously does not have to be football, chick flicks, fishing (which I don't really mind.... so long as I'm not putting the worm on the hook or for goodness sakes the stink bait!) or reading html codes, shopping or well, whatever your spouse likes to do. I have women in my life that are wonderful friends and we share similar interests.  But those friendships, as great and needed as they are at times... will and should never take the place or fill-in the missing piece of the friendship that I have with Danny.

This also could never really be more sobering a thought than watching a dear friend lose her best friend and husband. She has told me many times to treasure each moment I have with my husband. To hear other women complain, gossip about and tear down their spouse is wrong and not Biblical... it's also crushing to those women who have lost a spouse and would love to be going thru life with their best friend.

Pray that God would develop in you a deeper love and respect for the spouse he has given you.  Protect your marriages.  Be an example of what a couple that places God at the center of their marriage should look like to others.

If you have kids.... show them that you respect each other even when you disagree... show them how to handle conflict. Show them that God leads your home.  Show them a stable home (I can't stress this enough with the week we've had counseling someone). Show them the Gospel. Show them what they should want in a spouse.

Be the spouse God created you to be for the wife/husband with whom He has blessed you to walk on this journey. Be the parents God created you to be-- to the gifts he has entrusted to your care.



Jamie said...

Such a great post Krista. This is something I am having to learn in my second marriage. I never saw these things growing up and didn't know "how" to put them in to play. Every day is a new day another day for God to teach us. Thanks for letting God teach through you today.

The Caldwells said...

Aww, thanks Jamie. I was just writing to write. Glad God used it to help someone. Looking forward to seeing you and getting to know you in person this summer!

F. Deaton said...

Amen, Amen, and Amen. I am learning to be more selfless in my marriage, and life in general. Love how God helps us see our mess and doesn't just leave us in it! Very thoughtful post Krista. Oh, and I detest football, but sure love a good chick-flick ;)

Gina said...

I'm allergic to football....BUT, I've found that there's quite a bit that Bruce and I enjoy doing together...and that sometimes just my presence in a room while he is watching a game or working on a sermon or reading, bring a comfortableness/contentment that we both enjoy in our marriage. And about the're so right on about that. My mom lost my dad when I was 18 and although she has never preached to me about anything, the one piece of advice she gave me when I got married was never to put down or complain about Bruce to anyone. I have remembered...and although surely have slipped a time or two or three...have consistantly tried to be an encouraging and uplifting wife...And it's reciprocated for sure!

Great post!